Infj and online dating

This makes for a really bad relationship if it ever takes off. I agree with avalanche. Meeting people participating in the same interests is the way to go. The only thing that worked was myspace, but it also led to mass quantities of emotional pain I'm a member of a "freechristiandating" website. Most of the women on there are either divorced or have children. In sum, online dating sucks.

I would not recommend it. I tried once, and it sucked. Although I've also tried the hobby route, and it hasn't worked either. But maybe your luck will be better than mine. Originally Posted by Rouge.

14 Common Problems INFJs Deal With In Their Dating Lives | Thought Catalog

Just snooping around these forums and decided to start posting. My girlfriend found and messaged me first through OkCupid It's the best relationship either one of us have experienced thus far and we have both been through a few. I consider myself really lucky, her personality is wonderful, she is super beautiful, we have tons in common, our astrological signs line up along with our Myers-Briggs type, and I've never experienced so much chemistry before, among other things. I could really write all day about my feelings for her I say, take the chance! You might find someone that really matches up with you.

What thinking about this from an INFJ perspective has done is helped me realize something very important: Thanks for your link to my blog! I tried online dating once for about two days. Signed up for a free profile on Christian Mingle, and deleted it as soon as the first guy tried to contact me.

How to Date an INFJ

Even though I wrote the advice to concentrate on yourself and I really do believe it, and that building friendships is important , it frustrates me as well. Like Liked by 1 person. And you last comment reminded me: I think I subconsciously thought, for a long time, that if I just waited and worked on myself, a guy would appear as a reward. Like Liked by 2 people.

Christian. Feminist. Nerd. Traveler

I just found your blog through a google search on INFJs, and this post was like reading my own thoughts on a page. I gave up on online dating for the time being. Eharmony worked sort of… but after one guy had just gotten out of a mental institution, another one had anger issues, and a third had a wife and newborn, I was done.

The internet used up my trust quota for strange men. Cheers to the complicated dating adventure that is being an INFJ.

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I installed all of them, then uninstalled a few days later, after going through all the phases you mentioned. I figure if I pursue my interests, friends will follow. All of my attempts at online dating have been painful and gone nowhere, and waiting for a guy to take an interest in me that I have a simultaneous interest back in has happened…once.

I also feel extremely weird about myself, and constantly amazed that people fall in love simultaneously…OFTEN. They realize everyone is human, including themselves. The more they understand the principles of forgiveness, the more ready they are for a relationship. INFJ is worth your affections. It's like winning the king or queen. Not only do they make for some of the best relationships if you have the wit for it , they are excellent parents.

They don't want to be screwed over by people. They especially don't want to waste their time on someone when they could be working on creative projects that help propel them forward in the world. Wasting time on a person seems backwards to the INFJ. INFJs do connect well if you touch them. This is one way they can tell whether they trust you or not. However, this is one of the most unusual things about an INFJ — they're obsessed with virtue and character, and probably are more on the side of waiting until marriage.

You probably are not going to meet that many adult virgins nor INFJs. However, they'll all know each other because they've probably studied similar things in college and hung out together. INFJs tend to be together in herds. They like writing, music, creativity, and spirituality. You'll probably find a whole herd of single INFJs at a church. This particular personality is sensitive, even more so in dating than in friendship.

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They can write off the things of friends, but when it comes to dating — do not cancel on them, avoid being late, do be interesting, do be random, and do be spontaneous. They don't do well with boring. They're more likely to date, or rather, jump on the back of a motorcycle with a complete stranger because they're in their committed single phase than spend time with a guy who is so boring that he talks about the colors he likes to paint walls.

To woo an INFJ, you should have a list of entertaining, bizarre activities to enjoy. They won't care if they go to it and hate it; the fact that it's original is so endearing and novel to them that they might not even know if the activity was a bust or not. Just the fact that it was different is perfect. It's a far cry from boring. Avoid going out and getting drinks — this isn't going to be memorable.

INFJs like to have the most interesting dates possible, whether or not they tell you this. They love dates because they get to show off the spontaneous sides that they have while also having the ability to time everything mysteriously well. Does it seem like your INFJ has something stuck up their butt? They don't always see this, but they can ramble on about a number of various subjects for ages.

If you want to have something more sensual, you'll have to help frame that. Again, they're not going to do anything behind doors with you unless there's a pretty serious commitment on the table. They're not as big of prudes as you may think. In fact, they'll probably surprise you and themselves. Again, they have an unimaginable amount of energy coursing through their veins both intuitively and in the feeling department. They're creative and know how to generally visualize and understand things. They can check off the bedroom as another activity that they've mastered. Before that, though, you have to build your trust with them.


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They won't give you a chance to see most sides of them, unless they feel that you've earned it. Giving an INFJ alcohol to try to help them connect with you can backfire wildly. It's like playing Russian Roulette. You don't know what's going to happen with this random person, and nor do they.

esconcessticdartbear.tk It could turn into a summersault of strange, embarrassing emotions, or the coolest and greatest thing you've ever seen. INFJs are not known for holding their liquor. It goes against their hardwiring. It's kind of like seeing a cross between a computer glitch and a freak out. It can be entertaining, but it isn't controllable. There's a lot that an INFJ is noticing about people, and when their lips are loose they can say too many things that are better left hidden.

INFJs need time to think and ponder and marinate. Each interaction you give to an INFJ will be considered by them and reviewed often. The words you say, the gifts, the way you touch them — it all will make them wonder if you are right for them. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Wow, as the others already said, this is incredibly accurate, it made me smile in a silly way, thank you: Just to let ladies know being an INTP, the whole things about aggressively pursing a woman and figuring out how to seduce them in dating is boring to me I'd rather pal around with a woman and be friends, maybe it's the Sagittarius in me IDK.

Not every guy is into trying to get into a woman's skirt as fast as possible Science and research are great, but some of these devices like Myers Briggs really cut to the point when it comes to internal logic, which isn't always easy to test or explain. Not all things can be quantified, which is why we use theory -- because theory is more dimensional and allows for interpretation of facts, experiences, and the like.

Myers Briggs is still active in pockets, even if science wants to shrug it off -- but a lot of science doesn't like dealing with this type of reasoning because it's too fluid, unpredictable by their standards , and less formulaic. You can find a great deal in Myers Briggs, if you want to find it. I am an INJF and have taken this test ad-naseum and rarely has but one character varied. Until recently this was thought a psychologically sound test.

Now psychology is all about measuring, data, frequency, latency, and is it observable.


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  • So much of this is spot on. Too aggressive actually sends me running for the hills, lol. INFJ do like a good amount of conversation and mental stimulation. It's going to be hard for them to feel like they have enough room to express themselves with a slow witted partner. Getting drinks is good—but only if the conversation is interesting.

    I like low key and simple because it focuses my attention on the other person, and there are minimal distractions, allowing me to make my judgements and work out how I feel. Coming home from dates that require a lot of energy makes me feel like I haven't made any progress in sorting out my feelings, even if I've had fun. On the other hand, if we're having drinks and I'm solely responsible for keeping the conversation ball in the air and coming up with new topics, I'm going to exhaust quickly and not invite him in when he takes me home.